C'est un garçon! L'expérience maternelle - Association ...
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C’est un garçon! L’expérience maternelle Kate Lindley Scheidegger, PhD 30 mars 2017 Les trois messages clefs l Si vous voulez aider les enfants, il faut aider les parents. Les mères assurent majoritairement la charge quotidienne des enfants. l La maternité est un apprentissage. Nous n’avons pas d’instinct maternel. Nous vous aimons en partie grâce à l’ocytocine. l Avoir un enfant avec une différence nécessite un apprentissage supplémentaire. 1
Parents «[P]arents’ concerns, hopes, fears and decisions regarding their babies largely shape the conditions of that individual’s life. [P]arental adaptation to the condition may be the most important factor for determining the child’s quality of life; the question remains to what extent encounters with medical caregivers and current treatment foster their adaptation or hinder it.» Karkazis, K. (2008: 178-9). Fixing Sex: Intersex, Medical Authority, and Lived Experience Edward, né en décembre 1984 2
Klinefelter male l Many men who have Klinefelter syndrome do not have obvious symptoms. Others have sparse body hair, enlarged breasts, and wide hips. In almost all men the testicles remain small. In some men the penis does not reach adult size. Their voices may not be as deep. They usually cannot father children. But they can have a normal sex life. l Some boys with Klinefelter syndrome have language and learning problems. Bruining et al. l KS is the most common aneuploidy with a prevalence of 1 in 700. l Only 10% to 25% of expected diagnoses of KS are made before puberty. l Recommend that all boys with behavioural and cognitive/learning problems be screened before the age of 10 for KS. Bruining, H., Swaab, H., Kas, M. & Van Engeland, H. (2009). Psychiatric characteristics in a self-selected sample of boys with Klinefelter Syndrome. Pediatrics (2009) Retrieved from paediatrics.aapublications.org 3
Professionnels vus ou consultés avant décembre 2000 1. Dr. R. Bandelier, gynécologue 2. Dr. D. Mottu, pédiatre 3. Dr. M.P. Favre, pédopsychiatre, Service Médico-Pédagogique 4. Dr. Perez Crim, psychiatre, Service Médico-Pédagogique 5. Mme Zwahlen, logopédagogue, Genève 6. Dr. L. Luka, psychiatre 7. M. Jeanneret, psychologue 8. Consultation urologique, HUG 9. Dr. Ch.-A. Haenggeli, neuropédiatre, HUG 10. Dr. V. Desmangeles, neuropédiatre, HUG 11. Dr. C. Aubert, psychiatre FMH, thérapeute de famille 12. Mme C. Tidmarsh, psychologue scolaire 13. Mme Levrat, psychologue scolaire, Collège du Léman 14. Mme de Marcellus, psychologue ASP 15. Mme Steffen, assistante sociale, Service de la Protection de la Jeunesse, Genève 16. Mme B. Schmitt, psychologue-conseillère, Assurance Invalidité, Genève 17. Dr. M. Plesea, dentiste-orthodontiste 18. M. Piguet, inspecteur scolaire, Genève 19. Mme Jacquemet, inspectrice des classes spécialisées, Genève 20. Mme Pellaton, enseignante en classe spécialisée, 3ème primaire, Meyrin 21. Mme Stalder, enseignante en classe spécialisée, 4ème primaire, Meyrin 22. M. E. Rossier, Directeur, Ecole Maya Joie, La Fouly 23. Mme Dugerdil, Directrice, Ecole La Passerelle, Genève 24. Enseignant(e)s dans les écoles publiques et privées : Mme Bavaud, Mme Planche, Mme Iovino, Mme Street, etc L’expérience de la mère d’un enfant dit “différent” Lindley Scheidegger, 2011 Dessin par Pécub 5
Le jour du diagnostic “Just having a diagnosis,” one patient said, “means the rest of your life can start.” Kathryn Montgomery, How doctors think, 2006: 65 “Medical students are taught that there is a diagnosis for every condition, and that every condition has a defined set of treatment strategies.” Deborah Lupton, Medecine as Culture, 2003: 127 Un nouveau monde s’ouvre 6
Ce que j’aurai voulu avoir Ce que j’ai reçu: l Une explication l Une explication non- médicale et compréhensible compréhensible du l Une interrogation constante diagnostic des médecins basée sur l Du soutien d’un leur curiosité (sans groupe de parents bienveillance) d’enfants similaires l Aucun groupe de soutien l Un psy de l’école l Une abondance de psys avec des théories psycho- thérapie narrative dynamiques peu aidantes La recherche sociologique de Preves « Throughout my research, I have heard stories of powerlessness, violation, reclamation, and personal empowerment. Interview after interview, participants shared stories of feeling scrutinized and sexualised by medical professionals, of being treated as oddities and freaks, of lacking control over their own bodies, and of the resulting shame and secrecy of such experiences. » Preves (2008:9) 7
La mère est supposée être un endroit où l’enfant est en sécurité Personal problems / public issues « So, when adults encounter a healthy baby with a body that is not ‘easily’ sexed, they may understandably experience an inability to imagine a happy and successful future for that child. … But most parents don’t find a real need to address these questions until years after a child’s birth. … (I)t is my contention that parents and caregivers of intersexed children don’t need to be so concerned about addressing the ‘personal’ troubles of their children either. Rather we should all turn our attention to the ‘public issues’ and problems wrought by unwavering, merciless adherence to sex and gender binarism. » Preves, S.E. (2008:12) 8
Judi Herring, MD « Gender Bound » TedXTalk Jacksonville l Our fixation on genitals is so entrenched in our cultural mindset that it serves as a functional reference to how we relate. l « Different » is compatible with emotional and psychological well-being. l https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZkcGZrupEo l https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZkcGZrupEo You’re a mutant 9
Disruption of identity “This disruption of identity occurs whether a person learns of their sexual ambiguity or later in adult life. The reason that learning the ‘truth’ about one’s sex is so jarring because it differs from how they viewed themselves before that moment.” Preves, S.E. (2008) Parcours après le diagnostic l Unité de crise pour adolescents UCA, HUG l Centre thérapeutique du jour, SMP l Psychiatrie Belle-Idée, HUG l Tutelle depuis 2003 l Vit de manière autonome depuis novembre 2003 l Rente AI complète l Substitution hormonale commencée à l’âge de 23 ans, suivi par Dr. P. Meyer, endocrinologie HUG 10
La construction de l’identité l « Being labeled as a misfit, by peers, by family members, or by medical diagnosis and treatment, is no doubt a challenge to one’s identity development and stability. » l « Negotiating identity, one’s basic sense of place and self, is a challenge for many of us, and is potentially far more challenging for people whose sex is called into question. » l Source: Preves, S. E. (2008: 4-5) Intersex and Identity, The Contested Self One wish by Lynell Stephani Long “But if I had one wish, this is what I would wish for: I wish my mother had asked more questions, and done some research on her own. I wish she hadn’t taken the doctors for their word, and I wish she had listened to me when I told her what my desires were. I wish she was told that her child being intersex does not reflect on her as parent. Sometimes children are born different than how we have our hearts set. Unfortunately, she put all of her trust in the doctors at the University, and prayed they could turn her ‘son’ into a male. Maybe with more knowledge, patience, and understanding, my mother would have had the tools needed to be a great parent” (Chapter 6, Thoughts from fellow parents and from adults with DSD, ISNA, 2006: 90) 11
Les questions pour les parents l Est-ce que son identité de genre est innée ou acquise? l Quelle théorie va nous aider? l Qu’est-ce que nous devons faire pour accompagner notre enfant? Ce que j’ai fait l Bachelor en psychologie 2002 (41 ans) l Master en psychologie (2006) l Doctorat en sciences sociales (2009-13) : The social construction of a mother’s identity amidst the confluence of motherhood discourses l Formation en thérapie narrative (2010-16) l Création d’une association SAMED – Soutenir et Accompagner les Mères d’Enfants « Différents » (2016) 12
Thérapie narrative Elle propose une déconstruction des relations de pouvoir dans lesquelles l’individu se sent isolé et enfermé face à son problème, puis la reconstruction d’histoires alternatives dans lesquelles les individus retrouvent une relation avec leurs rêves et leurs aspirations. Un des grands points forts de l’approche narrative est de savoir guider l’individu dans la recherche et la reconnexion avec ses ressources cachées, celles qui n’ont pas été prises en compte au regard de leur histoire. Deconstructing discourses l “In whose interests is the discourse operating? l What (and whose) values, beliefs and concepts are espoused, and what others are neglected? l What pre-established knowledge or belief systems are drawn upon to create meaning? l What types of social differences are established or perpetuated?” Deborah Lupton, Medecine as culture: Illness, disease and the body, 1994:55 13
Est-ce que je suis un garçon ou une fille? l Qu’est-ce que tu aimes faire? l Qu’est-ce que tu n’aimes pas faire? l Qu’est-ce que tu fais bien? l Qu’est-ce que tu veux faire quand tu es grand? l Tu te sens plutôt fille ou plutôt garçon? C’est quoi, d’être un garçon? Contacts l www.samed-association.ch l Soutenir et Accompagner les Mères d’Enfants “Différents” l drkatelindley@gmail.com 079 626 1586 l www.drkatelindley.ch 14
Bibliographie l Belliger, A. (2014) Gesundheit 2.0: Das ePatienten-Handbuch l Griffin, J. (2016) Parenting a disabled child In Therapy Today, October 2016 l Karkazis, K. (2008: 178-9). Fixing Sex: Intersex, Medical Authority, and Lived Experience l Lindley, K. (2013) The social construction of a mother’s identity amidst the confluence of motherhood discourses. http://www.taosinstitute.net/kate- lindley-scheidegger-dissertation l Lupton, D. (1994) Medecine as culture: Illness, disease and the body l Preves, S.E. (2008) Intersex and Identity: The Contested Self l Shakespeare, T. (2006) Disability Rights and Wrongs l Thomas, T. Shut That Kid Up, Motherhood as Social Dislocation, Journal of the Association for Research on Mothering, Vol. 3, No 1 15
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